Legs crossed, peering out through a veil of dark brown hair, the woman looks through the few emails in her inbox. Each sorted carefully, categorized and filtered, not a single note out of place. The number of unread messages a low 5, a single one holding her attention.
A new job.
It was a thought that had crossed her mind multiple times. Months of internal debate and discussions with close friends had only solidified the notion. She pushed back her hair out of her eyes, uncrossed and crossed her legs again and re-read the email. It seemed clear cut, possibly a pay cut, but possibly a better experience and more interesting work.
What was the harm? She thought, then wondered if references would be called and if anything might make her boss wonder if she wasn't happy with her current job. She didn't want to give anyone an excuse to let her go, she didn't want to have that awkward conversation. Moaning unhappily to herself, she fell backwards onto her bed and stared at the ceiling.
After a few seconds she shifted her gaze into a corner and started thinking: be content with what you have. Would the risk be worth the rewards? What would happen if somehow interviewing cost her her current job? What about if she got excited and took the job without quitting her other first? What if the new job was a terrible idea and she was leaving a perfectly adequate career for something worse? What if she lost the new job after leaving the old and wasn't able to find a new one?
What if. What if. What if.
She rolled over onto her stomach, pulling a pillow underneath her face and burying herself into it. The soft feathery feeling offering a small degree of comfort despite her rustling mind. The blankets quickly found themselves snug around her slight frame, and she wriggled warmly into the embrace of the sheets. Eyesight gone, she worked on quieting her ears next, throwing a blanket over her head and U-ing a pillow around her. All other senses blocked out, she focused inward, trying to decipher what she really wanted, breathing in and out slowly, trying to calmly decide what to do with her life.