Cold Heat

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Cold Heat

Can I carve it out like a peach?
This unwanted feeling, replace it with sweets?
Muscles are tired, not just the usual sores
The ones in the face, they don't work anymore
What to do about it? It's a change that must be done
not by others, by me, I'm the only one
Who can fix this? This slow slide down the hill
I can see myself falling, but don't care for the pill
I'd rather talk it out, discuss things with friends
but burden others? How could I ever make amends
It's not in my nature, to admit to every fault
To admit all the stupid, mean, horrible thoughts
“If you've got nothing nice to say” was always the rule
But when you're quiet for so long, you feel the fool
Easier to smile and nod, just leave everyone alone
Think about talking, but back into hand comes the phone
Not calling or texting, just fighting the internal war
That urge to talk but the fear of alienating more
It's the hedgehog's dilemna, and I'm running away
I don't always see the point in the day to day
Why bother complaining when there's no one to listen
Just deafening silence, day out and day in
Even when I lash out, call and cry for a friend
No help forthcoming, just a shrug as they hit send
Laying on a couch, watching another watch a show
Wanting to reach out, but words are left fallow
Disinterest in others, it starts out so small
Brick by brick we build up a massive wall
And who will disrupt this? Who will be my Berlin
Could I even ask this of someone? Who has nothing to gain?
Flip flop on the issue, feeling aren't tied down
Stuck never moving forward, and forever burned out

Last updated: 2016-5-28

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